"Losing hope is easy
When your only friend is gone
And every time you look around
Well, it all, it all just seems to change" ~ Jack Johnson
When you lose something, it's usually quick…I lost my cougar card the other day, just left it on the bus Saturday night I think, it was fast, I didn't even realize it until the next day. You lose a game, quick. It doesn't hurt, it's not painful…and you get over it. But these are all material things, losing things with an emotional attachment comes with more heartache.
I lost a glass bowl that was my great-grandmothers when we were moving; it fell and shattered into hundreds of tiny glass fractures on my floor. I didn't clean it up. I just sat on the floor next to the glass crying for hours. It was the last material object I had that was hers. I was close to my great-grandma. I mean I still have memories, but that's all. Still, this loss was quick. It's when the loss is slow that we really feel the pain. Especially when you are the one that decides it's time to move on.
I lost a friend. We've been friends for years…I think since 4th grade, maybe even longer. We've had amazing times and hard times, like most friendships. But it wasn't until I moved that I started to lose her. When I went home in December for Christmas we hung out once, I helped her pick out Christmas presents. We made plans to hang out more, but she blew me off to hang out with her boyfriend. When I got back to Pullman I called her a bunch of times, but she never called me back. I was pissed and ready to give up. Then finally one day she called and I let it go. I hate being mad at people and having that anger inside of me was eating me alive. We were fine for a while. Then I went home for Spring Break in March. Same situation happened. We made plans to hang out and she blew me off again. I called her multiple times, and then finally decided that enough was enough. It's like that quote "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." I'm sick of putting forth effort for a friendship when I'm not getting anything back, it doesn't work like that. It hurts. And it will hurt every time I think about it. But I'm better than that. I know I am, I have people here and at home that care…Cass, Amber, Tiffany, and Augustine. They've showed me how friends are supposed to be, and what she and I had wasn't it. I never knew it would be so hard to let someone go…but it's time. I tried again one more time on Monday…no response. Sometimes I want to just cry because I'm so upset, others I just don't care…it all depends on the day. But I do miss her.
"But hanging on is easy
When you've got a friend to call
When nothings making sense at all
You're not the only one that's afraid of change" ~ Jack Johnson
When your only friend is gone
And every time you look around
Well, it all, it all just seems to change" ~ Jack Johnson
When you lose something, it's usually quick…I lost my cougar card the other day, just left it on the bus Saturday night I think, it was fast, I didn't even realize it until the next day. You lose a game, quick. It doesn't hurt, it's not painful…and you get over it. But these are all material things, losing things with an emotional attachment comes with more heartache.
I lost a glass bowl that was my great-grandmothers when we were moving; it fell and shattered into hundreds of tiny glass fractures on my floor. I didn't clean it up. I just sat on the floor next to the glass crying for hours. It was the last material object I had that was hers. I was close to my great-grandma. I mean I still have memories, but that's all. Still, this loss was quick. It's when the loss is slow that we really feel the pain. Especially when you are the one that decides it's time to move on.
I lost a friend. We've been friends for years…I think since 4th grade, maybe even longer. We've had amazing times and hard times, like most friendships. But it wasn't until I moved that I started to lose her. When I went home in December for Christmas we hung out once, I helped her pick out Christmas presents. We made plans to hang out more, but she blew me off to hang out with her boyfriend. When I got back to Pullman I called her a bunch of times, but she never called me back. I was pissed and ready to give up. Then finally one day she called and I let it go. I hate being mad at people and having that anger inside of me was eating me alive. We were fine for a while. Then I went home for Spring Break in March. Same situation happened. We made plans to hang out and she blew me off again. I called her multiple times, and then finally decided that enough was enough. It's like that quote "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." I'm sick of putting forth effort for a friendship when I'm not getting anything back, it doesn't work like that. It hurts. And it will hurt every time I think about it. But I'm better than that. I know I am, I have people here and at home that care…Cass, Amber, Tiffany, and Augustine. They've showed me how friends are supposed to be, and what she and I had wasn't it. I never knew it would be so hard to let someone go…but it's time. I tried again one more time on Monday…no response. Sometimes I want to just cry because I'm so upset, others I just don't care…it all depends on the day. But I do miss her.
"But hanging on is easy
When you've got a friend to call
When nothings making sense at all
You're not the only one that's afraid of change" ~ Jack Johnson
No comments:
Post a Comment